Introduction: A Real-World Example
It’s a sunny Monday morning, the bell has just rung in Mr. Knope’s fourth-grade class, and students rush to line up for recess supplies. Jordan, who was towards the back of the class, sees the number of balls running low, as does Riley, another kid in class. The kids race through the crowd, only to discover that there is one ball left. To Riley’s dismay, Jordan had somehow already grabbed the ball. One child accuses the other of cutting the line or taking the ball unfairly. Hearing this, Jordan strikes a blow to Riley and shoves them to the ground. And before you can say “empathy,” they’re on the ground crying, yelling, and wrestling for control. When Mr. Knope finally intervenes, neither can explain what has happened.
Defining Emotional Intelligence
So what went wrong? A lot (if not everything), according to Daniel Goleman, a Harvard psychologist who reignited the discussion surrounding Emotional Intelligence (EI). In his 1995 book titled “Emotional Intelligence: Why it Can Matter More Than IQ,” Goleman asserted that EI is derived from five principles: Self-Awareness, the ability to understand what and why you feel; Self-Regulation, the ability to control your behaviors based on how you feel; Motivation, the propensity to pursue goals with energy and persistence; Empathy, the ability to understand and identify with perspectives other than your own; and Social Skills, the ability to leverage your knowledge to build and manage relationships with others. In the case of Jordan and Riley, not only did the kids not have the self-awareness to understand why they felt an extreme urgency to get the ball, but also lacked the self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills to restrain themselves from cutting the line and ultimately getting into a physical fight.
Models of EI
While Goleman’s 1995 theory of EI applies well to Jordan and Riley, there is still no full consensus on how EI should be categorized. However, even with various theories surrounding EI, most theories share the same core principles. In Goleman’s framework, EI is measured by the Emotional and Social Competence Inventory (ESCI) co-developed by Richard Boyatzis in 2007, and is organized into four domains: Self-Awareness, Social Awareness, Self-Management, and Relationship Management. While structured differently from Goleman’s original publication in 1995, the characteristics represent similar facets of EI. Other popular models include Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test (MSCEIT), which classifies its subcategories as: Perceiving Emotions, Facilitating Thought, Understanding Emotions, and Managing Emotions; and Bar-On’s Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQ-i), which breaks EI into Self-Perception, Interpersonal, Decision Making, Self-Expression, and Stress Management (O’Connor, Hill, Kaya, & Martin, 2019). Despite their differences, these models share a common theme: emotional intelligence involves an awareness, understanding, and regulation of both one’s own emotions and those of others within social contexts.
Real-World Applications
Does EI’s variance detract from its real-world applicability? Hardly. Various studies using a variety of EI measurement scales have found strong correlations between higher EI scores and positive workplace outcomes, including increased likability by bosses, peers, and subordinates; better performance evaluations; higher guest satisfaction; and even greater annual profits (Cherniss et al., 2006; Cavallo & Brienza, 2004; Bar-On, 2004). Among younger populations, when Goleman’s EI theory is instilled into a curriculum known as Social Emotional Learning (SEL) and implemented consistently over the long term, students of various grade levels greatly benefit. SEL programs have been shown to improve organizational skills, stress management, GPA, and test scores, while decreasing antisocial behavior, aggression, discipline problems, and suspensions when compared to students who had not received proper SEL training (Zins et al., 2004; Durlak & Weissberg, 2005).
Conclusion
While Jordan and Riley may have faltered in their conflict today, the lessons that they could learn in emotional intelligence pave the way for a stronger future—academically, occupationally, and socially. And while fighting over a ball may seem trivial, it reveals the importance of EI as a social skill, even from a young age. Through programs like SEL, students like Jordan and Riley can develop the tools necessary to understand their emotions, build stronger relationships, and navigate conflict with tact instead of aggression. Hopefully, the next time a bell rings, it doesn’t signal the beginning of a scuffle, but instead recess for a more emotionally intelligent generation.
References
Bar-On, R. (2004, October). Applying the power of emotional intelligence. Paper presented at the EQ Symposium, Golden, CO.
Boyatzis, R. E. (2008). "Chapter 14: Emotional and Social Intelligence Competencies". In Research Companion to Emotion in Organizations. Cheltenham, UK: Edward Elgar Publishing. Retrieved Aug 2, 2025, from https://doi.org/10.4337/9781848443778.00024
Cavallo, K., & Brienza, D. (2006). Emotional Competence and Leadership Excellence at Johnson & Johnson. Europe’s Journal of Psychology, 2(1). https://doi.org/10.5964/ejop.v2i1.313
Cherniss, C., Extein, M., Goleman, D., & Weissberg, R. P. (2006). Emotional Intelligence: What Does the Research Really Indicate? Educational Psychologist, 41(4), 239–245. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15326985ep4104_4
Durlak, J. A., & Weissberg, R. P. (2005, August). A major meta-analysis of positive youth development programs. Invited presentation at the Annual Meeting of the American Psychological Association, Washington, DC.
Goleman, D. (2020). Emotional intelligence. Bantam Books.
O’Connor, P. J., Hill, A., Kaya, M., & Martin, B. (2019). The measurement of Emotional Intelligence: A Critical Review of the literature and recommendations for researchers and Practitioners. Frontiers in Psychology, 10. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01116
Zins, J. E., Weissberg, R. P., Wang, M. C., & Walberg, H. J. (Eds.). (2004). Building academic success on social and emotional learning: What does the research say? Teachers College Press.